Fed Ex

Ode to FedEx.

Your prices make me cry.

Your delivery time lacks - why oh why?

You make promises on commercials you see.

But why must you lie to me.

Your not these best.

I put you to the test.

You failed miserably and blamed it on a storm at sea.

For 35 cents the Post Office does just as well.

FedEX your lame and you can go to...Hell.

Thank you,

(applause)

Thank you,

(applause)

Thank you.