Figures.

I am in the process of redoing my kitchen.

I have picked a cabinet company. And switched colors and door shapes a few times. I look at the pictures of the showroom kitchens and swoon. I want that. I want this. Me and this little mouse in my pocket....We want it all!!!!

Well - common sense an a limited budget and of course my...Frugality always come into play.

I settle. As usual for what I can afford.

Although - I am becoming quite excited by appliances right now.

Martha Stewart I am not. I really am not Susy Homemaker - I am not even a very good Mom (just ask my J).

My achievements are getting by in life. Making a living by sweet talking whoever is on the phone and trying not to get too lazy that my joints no longer work.

The lazy part - I need to work on. Since my birthday a few months back - I feel those said joints everytime I want to sit Indian style on the floor and eat Chinese while watching TV.

I guess because I am in the market for appliances - they all catch my eye. The colors, the lines and the options.

Options that I really don't need of course. Do I really need a double convection oven? Do I really need that washer and drying in the neon orange that Sears has been touting on TV. Taunting me, they are. Evil...Evil I say!

Why is it that the really cool things are twice as much? And by cool... I shall explain, Cool is those appliances without knobs. Hidden panels and sleek lines so that you don't even know you are looking at a dishwasher. It could be anything. Its meant to blend in. So that you don't take away from the few grand that you just spend on cabinetry.

But - Is it really cheaper for the manufactures of these companies to charge you more for something with knobs. I saved you from adding the knob. That alone should bring down the cost of the appliance. At least a few hundred dollars.

The newest problem in my kitchen design now is the thing called 'The Contractor'. Explaining to him what needs to be done takes a few minutes. Remove these and put these up. Cover up this door and paint whatever's left.

Then he asks about electric. I want to change the subject - because I know what is coming.

Did you know that you need a permit to put in a new kitchen? Who knew....

He wanders over to my electrical box and says they same thing everyone says when they peek their head in it. This is an illegal box and there is no way an inspector is going to let this pass. I will send out my electrician and then we will tell you what we need to do.

Mr. Electrian pulls up in front of my home in a Lexus. Most electricians are a little dirty. Dirty from crawling around in attics. Not this guy. Hes clean. I am scared.

I show him where I need my lighting. Eight lights. That's it. Simple.

He asks to see the box. I point it out and start to walk away.

He begins to tell me what I already know. The whole box needs to be replaced.

Now let me see the outside. He notices the power box to the water heater. I try to steer him away....No luck. He opens it - a family of lizards scurry and he shakes his head. This should be on its own circuit. I know - the last electrician that was here said the same thing.

Then I walk him out back. Little boxes that have been added all piggyback from the main breaker. He shakes his head. This is illegal. These should all be part of the box. I know....That's what the last electrian said.

Then he looks up...You know the receptacle that feeds the main wires from the pole into the house? Well they are in bad shape....He needs to add more power into the house and they need to be repaired before proceeding. Something about copper wires being exposed. This information is new and now will be added to the thing that the electrician said.

He pats me on the back as we walk back inside. He tries to make me feel better by telling me that I shouldn't count that as my kitchen budget. Its a safety issue and it needs to be addressed.

I know - that's what the last electrian said.