The News

Buy Coke. We (and I mean my Mom and Dad) own it. It's the same as being 12 and saying "we are rich". I think they bought some for J once. So - since she is a minor - does that mean I can cash her out and live on her millions?

Ann Coulter - People - she's trying to sell books. I don't like what Mr. Moore makes movies about - but he's got an audience for it. He's a millionaire and needs a trainer. Ann - she's a millionaire and probably needs to get laid. Change the channel if you don't like her. I got one for you...Don't buy her book. She will go away soon. It's not like she's running for President.

Zarqawi - He's dead - dead - dead. I am very happy. Now let's get the other towel head OBL hiding in Afghanistan and call it a day already. By the way...Good Job! I hope the military lets you have a beer and hot shower and ships in a few "working ladies" for the evening. You guys rock!!!

NBA Finals - Miami Heat Baby!

Cervical Cancer Vaccine - Hell to the yes! I was advised of so many great drugs in Europe that America would never let me bring back with me. If it hasn't been approved - in the trashcan it goes. (Along with my lighter - by the way). Keep up the good work and parents - please let your kids get it. Don't turn a blind eye to the fact that Missy or Jr. Are probably going to a STD (50% do) and HPV is the leading cause of cervical cancer. Help them out now...Before its to late.

Brad and Angelina - On marriage....Not gonna happen. Making babies...That was fun. Let's do it again! (Oddly enough I get this creepy dejavu thing - didn't Mia Farrow and Woodey Allen do this kinda thing?)

Teresa Stiles - A woman who just returned a lockbox that fell off the back of a Brink's truck (It contained $40k). Does she get a reward? Maybe this is when you pat her on the back and tell her she's a good human being. You are, Ms. Stiles...I would have at least rolled all over it naked first...In oil..To see what sticks...And then...Return the rest.

Sharon Nichols and Terri Sutton - Two 911 dispatchers who chastised a 5 year old boy for calling them telling them that his Mommy had collapsed. By the time someone got there Mommy was dead. I have nothing funny to add to this...News is sometimes very sad.



This is J's Mom signing off, San Diego!