You don't remember me?

It's a sad day when the person that you spend all your time with day in and day out confesses that they don't remember you during their youth.

"You weren't there. I only remember so and so."

Where is Doctor Phil when you need him?

The person I am referring to is J. Last night she was preparing dinner for us and I was sitting at the bar and we were chatting about her weekend with her Auntie. She doesn't see her Auntie very much and this past weekend they spent three days together. During this time - J is told a majority of things about our past life. Good and bad. So she questions me....

Why did you and Dad get divorced? Was it because of so and so? Do you know what I heard....???

So on and so forth. As I wade thru this information and try to clarify situations that occurred without placing total blame on one individual I hear...."I don't remember you being around much." She then goes on to talk about very rare occasions when a specific person did great things with her. But other that that - she cannot remember the day to day activities.

"Don't you remember this?"

"Nope"

"Don't you remember that?"

"Nope"

I am guessing that because the activities that she does remember were so rare that they were special. So special that they have burned themselves into her memory leaving little room for anything else that occurred.

My life with J included the mundane - I guess. Even though I remember certain things and occasions like they just happened last nite. When I speak of these things from time to time, we laugh and chuckle at the silliness of it all. But - when you ask her, she doesn't remember that it happened at all.

Could it be that her childhood was so wreaked by adult situations that she has blocked a majority of it out? That somewhere in her mind, lying right beneath the surface is a childhood that she has packed away never to bring out again? Maybe one day she will land in therapy and the Dr. will tell her that she has underlying issues that they need to extract and then and only then under hypnosis she will relive her childhood? Maybe the fun things that we used to do will then emerge?

Maybe I am just overthinking?

It just floors me as I can remember my childhood. Not exact. But I can remember quite a bit. I too have blocked somethings out. But - sometimes they can be jiggled free when someone mentions it.

I also feel a little hurt. Because I know I have a moment when I was young that I remember with my Mom. I believe that there used to be a cartoon called "Jabberjaw". It was a blue shark. I remember laying on the couch in the living room (before we had a Florida room added) and we had a floor console TV. We watched the cartoon and apparently I gave running commentary (possibly mentioning stuff - LOL) during the show and during the commercial my Mom proceeded to tickle me and sang the song to me..."Jabbaa Jabba Jabba Jaaba Jaaw - your a Jabberjaw!"

I remember that among other things - but that I specifically remember - because it was a special time between my Mother and I.

And J - She couldn't give me anything.

That is just sad.