I'm a jealous cow! Moo!

Very exciting weekend ahead!!!

Brotherman is getting....ma...ma...ma...MARRIED! Her name is Sassy Pants.

Brotherman and Sassy Pants sitting in a tree - K.I.S.S.I.N.G.

Yes - I know. She looks past the odd shaped head and his love for thrash metal and his weird love for D&D. So, it must be love.

I am very happy for them.

I am a huge fan of love stories. Though it may seem at times that my feelings may be opposite, as I stick my finger down my throat and pretend to puke when people are all lovey-dovey.

It's just the jealous cow in me that takes over.

Great love stories are wonderful to hear. They give you hope that there is a certain somebody out there for you. I see it in my Mom and Dad. In my Auntie and the two great loves of my Grammas life.

To have someone that you don't want to smother in the middle of the night with a pillow. For example...

"Officer, he had that sleep apnea (spelling?) thing. Yes, sometimes he would stop breathing and I would have to beat his chest to wake him. That explains those bruises. I just was in too deep a sleep to help him this time. No- I cannot explain why he has a knife stuck up his ass. He was into kinky things. What can I say. No, I am not smiling and you didn't see me doing a jig around his body!!! I'm innocent!"

Stuff like that and my love for The AH.

But - Brotherman has a sweet love. He coos and smiles. He is constantly following her around with a camera to capture her beauty on film. When she's not around, he sits in a dark room and watches it over and over, sniffing her nightgown. Then heads to the special alter that he set up and prays to her picture. See, sweet love. Awwww.

Ooops - jealous cow again.

What women wouldn't want to be held upon a pedestal? What woman wouldn't want her man to paint her toes and shave her legs for her. And at night when he brushes her hair.....So sweet.

Cow...Sorry.

I'm kidding of course. I don't think he really brushes her hair. hee hee

But - I would want it! All of it. But, I am lacking in that department. So, I just Moo a sad Moo and watch the other animals play.

Regretfully, HB looks at my toes and with a look that he is about to vomit asks when my next pedicure is. He adds that a leg wag, lip wax and eyebrow wax may be in order. Then if I ever plan on shaving my pits again. Its usually followed by the word eewwww and then he slowly backs away holding his nose.

I will cry at the wedding. I usually do - because love is sweet and it makes me think how miserable my life is and how no one wants to marry me. Just because I choose not to shave and bathe and brush my teeth and clean the bottoms of my feet. I just got rid of the lice problem and the scars aren't that bad. I am going to therapy for the clingy issue I have and the stalker incident has been dropped. The guy moved or vanished or something. So what if I like to sleep with ten dogs in my bed! No, I do not sit up and stare at you in the middle of the night and no you didn't hear me saying over and over...Marry Me, Marry Me. You were dreaming.!So what if I only flush the toilet once a week to conserve water? I'm a catch dammit!

Umm, errr... Sorry - I got off the subject.

I know Brotherman probably wrote his own vows and they will be terribly romantic and sappy. I want to tell him of a few bible versus that get me everytime if he wants to add them for extra effect so that we will all have a blubberfest (with our family being really, really religious and all).

But in all seriousness...As I reread the verses my Father read at my wedding, I agree. Though written thousands of years ago they still ring true today. I see the respect and love they have for each other. I see that my Brotherman is doing everything in his power to make it perfect, to make it right. I wish them them all the best!

Moooooo!