Piggy...Piggy

Aaahhh - Wonderful holidays. A wonderful time for many, and horrible time for few.

They do not make enough Vodka in the world as far as I am concerned!

I come from a decent size family. Not huge. As we were growing up - the amount of kids never maxed four. Now - we have one. We will have two more soon, but they wont eat much for a while. So its mainly an adult affair, where everyone shares a cocktail or two or three. We chat and help prepare the table. Sometimes we are lucky to pick and nibble on the yummy goodness to come. Its pretty low-key.

Now I know that most families have more kids than we do. Sometimes there is an adult table and a kids table. Or, (like the one we recently attended) a really long table with adults on the top half and the kids on the bottom half.

The kids table sucked - because you wanted to know what was so great at the adults table that you were banished from it. Now being a grownup I can tell you the secret...Your not missing a damn thing. I had an Uncle B. Who always ate with us at the kids table. We thought he was cool because he actually thought we were more interesting that the grownups. Fact is, we were.

Well as you know, we attended dinner away this year and this time there were far more kids than adults. So many so that, I went in search of an adult beverage only to come up with juice boxes in the cooler.

So after a trip to the local booze store, I made myself a great big cocktail and settled in for my dinner.

This family doesn't use the pig trough method. The use the conveyor belt method. Round the table it goes. From left to right. Adults on the top half - kids on the other of a very long table. So you figure...What's the problem? The dishes hit the kids and they are old enough that their plates are not prepared for them. They in fact are in charge of their portion control. Being boys, they load their plates, like mountains.

Where's the problem you say? Well, once it gets past the boys the bowls are empty. Well - I shouldn't say empty. There is approximately a large spoonful left (how thoughtful of them). Then the remaining people (for fun lets say..Me and J and their Gramma) are left dividing this spoonful into thirds. When there was not enough to so this - J and I would forgo so that the Gramma could have the last roll or the last spoonful.

I don't think the pig trough method would have worked anyway. Though it may have raised a few eyebrows if they let the kids go first and then they could see what they had left. Their ration factor was minimal at best. My Dad makes sure there is plenty for seconds and for the five friends that you invited at the last minute - with enough for leftovers.

I didnt get it - This happened meal after meal. I watched as the kids would pile their plates and since their parents (who were sitting on the first served side) already had their plates full - never seemed to notice what was coming around the other side.

One nite - J and I messed with their seating assignment. We figured the best place to sit and threw them off completely. The kids were angry - you could feel the hatred seething from them.
Oh well, so sorry for you little Piggys.

Oh, by the way little Piggys - we will not be eating with you all for a looooong while.

And how was your Turkey Day?