Kudzu

So I am reading today (I know - if its not a blog or the TV guide...) and it asks if you have a drinking problem you should try this new product.

Apparently - it makes you feel drunker (don't care if its not a word - according to my Mom's blog it will be soon enough).

So instead of say 6 beers you only need 2.

Well - if you keep reading it asks...Do you have a problem with booze? Take our quiz.

Quiz? I like a quiz - I'm game.

Well - its hosted by AA. So - I think...well HB were gonna find out if your right....

There are 12 questions. I'm even going to share some of my answers - since I'm being honest...

1- Have you ever decided to stop drinking for a week or so and only lasted a couple of days?

YES . Atkins made me stop for two weeks. Forget it. I live in a house with a teenager. Vodka is your friend.

2 - Do you wish people would mind their own business and stop telling you what to do.

YES - I'm not going to mention any names - HB - but shut your piehole!

(Im not going to list the NO questions - its funnier that way.

3- NO - mixing makes you puke.

4 - NO -Unless you count the time I was in The Keys and they were serving Bloody Marys by the pool when I woke up . Hell - its happy hour some where in the world!

5- NO - If you can't be a cool drunk - I won't hang with you. Period. Its called "maintaining"

6- NO - I know people who have had problems - and guess what...theyre stupid!

7- Has your drinking caused problems at home?

YES - Please refer to HB shut your piehole!

8 - NO - I have booze at home - why be greedy?

9 - NO - I don't get drunk - I get friendly.

10 - NO - I'm a pro. Water aspirin and an Egg McMuffin - I can make it thru the day. At least until lunch.

11 - NO - I have only blacked out once. I awoke to puke everywhere. There is nothing worse than having to pick up puke when your hungover - so again... NO!

12 - Have you ever thought life would be better if you didn't drink?

YES - Please refer to HB - and shutting his piehole!

So - then I press the button that says "go ahead, judge me you commie pinko...."

They said....

"Thanks for taking our quiz.
You answered yes to 4 questions.
People who answered yes four or more times are probably in trouble with alcohol. If you have a problem with alcohol, see your doctor right away."

4 out of 12 and I still have to listen to HB and his piehole.

I cant win.