The Mockingbirds

I thought it was Summer. I failed my IQ test when I was young. I am a product of the public school system.

Apparently - its Spring. And my Aviary is procreating.

Lets first talk about the most disgusting creature on the planet. The lizard. I hate them. I hate them. I hate them. Hate is a rather strong word and I describe to J that we don't say that we hate something unless we want to see it die and go away. The word that follows is dislike (I know very PC of me).

I hate lizards.

When I was young lizards seemed to love me. I never loved them. They loved my room. Mom said it was because my room was so gross that there must be bugs and that's why they always seemed to flock to my room. My Father, knowing my immense hatred for lizards - found joy in catching them, then chasing me into the bathroom while trying to "show" me how gentle they were. They gross me out. I get the heebie jeebies. They make my skin crawl!

So, remembering my Mothers words, I try to be clean. With the help of my Rosa (my fine housekeeper) we bleach the Hell out of everything once a week. No buggies here.

But still, for some reason, the lizards flock. I found one in my shower the other night. I stepped in and turned on the water as usual. I then got all my crap and turned to face the shower and there in the corner, was A....Lizard. Not just your everyday lizard. We live in Florida and we have dinosaurs. Gekkos and Salamander looking things. The lizards have these fins like dinosaurs on the back of their bodies. They are in heat and they do this push up thing and chase each other like crazed sex fiends and flash this big red thing that needs to be ripped out and shoved in their cottonlike mouths.

Mooch is a terrible hunter. She's not helping at all. The seem to run towards her mockingly and are now filling up my screened patio - which is meant to keep them out.

HB knows that I freak. He accidentally wiped one of the wall and it flew onto my shirt and I burst into tears and did a dance then proceeded to scream at him about how he should have known not to do that. I am scarred for life.

So - he finds that using a large cup - these vile creatures will run into it. If I don't see him throw the cup into the trash. It then becomes contaminated - I will never drink from those cups again. I use the same cup every day - there is a reason.

Well - Moochie trying to be the hunter she is (not) is chasing the "things" all over the yard. She tries to make me happy and in return I shall feed her. Well, now there is a new creature that taunts her. Poor Moochie.

The Mockingbird. There is a nest on the naked kids roof. And there is a Woodpecker nest in a tree behind my house. They have been attacking my Moochie.

She doesn't want the birds it seems. They never have seemed to catch her attention. But - they are mad as Hell that she's around and she's being punished for it.

So prayers for poor Moochie. Lets hope she makes it the next few days...And God Forbid doesn't eat any of the babies seen hopping around the naked kids yard.

She might think they are just slow lizards.