Farting...

Along to Tom Jones is not very sexy. But- there is something very amusing about it.

HB has returned from Tahoe with a need to listen to Tom Jones. He has picked up a CD and now on our lunch excursions we must listen to Tom... At a very loud level.

My Dad used to (and probably still does) circle the block. When a song came on in the car radio he would pass the driveway and drive around the neighborhood until the song came to an end. My Mom would claim that she had to go to the bathroom and he would bring the car to a slow roll she would jump out and us kids (trapped in the backseat) would listen to American Pie (the long version).

I do that everyonce in a while with J. Not usually though because most of the time a good song comes on while we are on our way home from dinner and everyone has to make a bathroom stop.

It's better to get everyone in the house to their respective bathroom - because if not the whole flashback experience of listening to a song is ruined by the constant moaning...

"I gotta pee!"

"Oh no - the turtles poking it's head out!"

Smells start wafting thru air and the visions that were creeping inside your mind of where you were when you first heard that song are....Poof...Gone!

So - HB and I have started to go to the local park for lunch. We grab something from the local Italian deli and eat outside and enjoy the beautiful weather (soon it will be too hot!)

On the way there - since we only have a few blocks between the deli and the park - Tom Jones gets cut off in the middle of singing. But on the way back - a slow crawl overtakes HB's foot and it seems like that 6 block drive is taking...Forever!

"It's not unusual to be loved by anyone. It's not unusual to have fun with anyone. But when I see you hanging about with anyone, it's not unusual to see me cry... I wanna die." Croons Tom thru the speakers.

Well - my stomach hasn't been feeling to well lately and I have had gas. Lots of it.

Bend over - fart
Walk - fart
Sit - fart
Lay down - fart
Drive - fart
Poke me in the stomach like the Pillsbury doughboy - fart

Not very stinky - but loud enough to be laughable and gross at the same time.

Although I try to be the sex bomb HB wants, needs and desires I also figure....

Love me - Love my stinky ass! (I miss The Newlyweds!)

So - I take this opportunity to pull A..."Need to go, gotta go to the bathroom!"

Letting it rip to 'Delilia's' trumpet solo is delightful!