Roast beef and a side of vaginas

In my recent search for local plastic surgeons, I have been going thru their picture galleries - seeing whose work I like and who impresses me.

If I find a photo that I really relate to - I will print it and say...."Can you make my neck look just like this?"

Now - if I listen to my Gramma I am perfect just the way I am - but just as a lady wants a nose job - I want a neck job. I am also looking at pics of perky boobies and smoother thighs - but if I had to pick the one thing that truly bothers me - it's my neck.

It's a family thing. No matter how thin or thick one gets our necks have a drop to them. Not that we don't have strong chins or great faces.

I watched Sandra Bullock this weekend in Miss Congeniality II. The move was awful - but there is something about her that I find beautiful....She has the perfect neck.

So - back to my vagina.

Well - we aren't going to actually talk about my vagina we are going to talk about the 20 women who have been to this surgeon for vaginal rejuvenation.

Of course, it was purely for scientific research - as I also heard yesterday morning that more than 84% of women take to looking at their undercarriage regularly.

They had before and after pics. Just like the infomercials on TV every Sunday morning where the person is slouching and sticking their bellies out. Or the ones where in one picture they are frowning or furrowing their brow. Then in the next picture - they are lean machines - or their skin is tight and taught. You know which ones I am talking about?

So - I am looking and although not a professional, I couldn't understand what these women found so unappealing about their vaginas!!!

Did someone say something to them about it? Like their boyfriends or husbands?

Was this dinner conversation between the two of them???

"Honey - I think you need a tuck."

"You mean a tummy tuck?"

"No - a vagina tuck....Yours isn't as pretty as...."

Or - is this just self obsession and when you have nothing else to complain about or have fixed on your body you find that your vagina is just not cute enough?

Now - these were not photos of someone who needed surgery because they needed their organs tucked back in - don't misunderstand.

How can I say this so that it's not crude...But graphic enough so that you can have a visual???

hhhmmmmm.....Ok...

This was going into a deli and ordering a roast beef sandwich on a Kaiser roll. But telling the sandwich maker that you didn't want any of the roast beef hanging over the sides of the roll...You wanted it tucked into the bread so you couldn't see it.

Get it?

I don't.