DogFro

In an attempt to keep Spike looking at his very best I was finally able to fanagle a local groomer into a mancut for my puffy canine.

HB has very strict requirements for Spike. The most important of which is that he will not - shall not ever...ever...EVER resemble a Poodle.

So - we were told that the coif he sported was called a 'puppy cut' and that any groomer would know about it and that was truly the deciding factor for HB to lay down the dough so that I could get my hairy pooch.

So during my call to the groomer - he was told of Spike's breed and wanted to know immediately if a 'poodle cut' was in his future.

I said No! And I told him when I saw him I would explain what we required of him.

It really was simple I thought. The directions were...See what he looks like now? Just take a few inches off and clean up around his eyes (so he can see) his pee pee (so he doesn't drip) and his butthole (so I am not picking poop off of him).

The man seemed like he knew what I wanted and then asked again...Are you sure you don't want a poodle cut? Then explained to me what it was.....

Blah , blah, blah (Dude, I am really trying to be polite as I know you are seemingly gay and I don't want to have to say....If HB gets a cakeboy when we return he will be very angry!)

I repeated my desires and then left. I really didn't want to fight too much because finding a groomer for a puppy is a task within itself. So - I winked, turned and walked quickly out the shop.

Two hours later..... (Spike is ready for pickup)

I walk in behind a H-U-G-E man in cowboy boots who was picking up a very, tiny, little Yorkie.

He asked for the Nascar collar and I had a secret giggle to myself.

I don't think you can butch up a Yorkie - but Cowboy thought it did. I guess it was the same reason we bought a spike collar for Mr. Fancy Pants. We needed to butch him up so HB would feel comfortable walking him.

Well - here comes Spike....Looking like...A POODLE. A modified version of one - but now you look at him and you know what he is.

We liked when people would say..."What breed is he? Really? He doesn't look like a poodle? I have never seen a poodle look quite like that...He's adorable."

HB and I were proud that we were maybe putting a different spin on the breed and now families would go out and buy one because they wanted to be ...just.like.me!

So - Mr. Groomer says...."You likey?"

I am amazed my dog has eyes - I hadn't seen them as they were hidden beneath a tuft of hair that reminded one of a sheep or Fozzie Bear. I almost thought he had sheepdog in him and I was going to pretend he was a miniature sheepdog - so that I would be the first on the block to have one!

I inspected his pee-pee and his butthole and I agreed that he did what I asked him to do...But there was something amiss with my dear Spike. Couldn't put my finger on it but - I knew HB wasn't going to be super happy - but at least he still had hair (some).

So - I bring Spike to HB to inspect and he said..."He really wanted to make Spike a poodle".

"What do you mean?" I say

"Look at his head...Its huge compared to the rest of his body! Its all fluffy!"

I look and make and excuse that everyone looks fluffy out of the blowdryer.

So - HB smoothes down the mane o'hair and says..."Well that looks a little better".

(Whew...Close one)

Then E comes over (HB's kid).

"Look at the dogfro!" She says with glee!!!!

(Shutup.Shutup.SHUT YOUR PIEHOLE!!!)

HB joins in...."Yes! It's a total Dogfro....They really should have done this...or this..."

So you know that Meatloaf song where he's praying for the end of time so he can get away from the girl that he promised he would be with forever?

I am praying for Spike's hair to hurry and grow so that I don't have to hear about it anymore!

Sorry Spike!