Pickin' and Grinin'

Not fond of babies - because they always cry when I pick them up.

They laugh at my faces - but I was never good at calming one down. Ask my Mom when I had J. She always had to grab her from me because I didn't have that "calming nature".

Now that J is a teenager - I still get the same racing heart and high blood pressure because her shrieks of her hatred of me and how stupid I am still gets me soaring!

Now to little kids - I'm a riot.

My bosses 3 year old LOVES me! I make fart noises with my hand and I can color and make funnies that only a little kid would love. I can do the hokey pokie and I love the game Red Rover!

The reason I love this age is that they can talk and it's totally cute as hell. They will talk your ear off if you let them.

But the bestest reason is that they don't care about what they do - or who watches them do it.

They go to the bathroom with the door open and they want you to stand there and watch them and maybe have a conversation.

They fart and burp and if you look at them when they do it - they crack up!

They pick their nose and inspect it then wipe it one the wall and run away.

The pick their ass and get the best face. You smile because you know exactly the joy I am talking about.

But we as adults discreetly pick our boogers. We endure the pain of a wedgie. We let our farts seep out instead of letting them rip and burps are held until we get chest pains!

We giggle at them when they are little - but tell them it's rude manners when they get older.

But - you know in the privacy of your own home you do the same thing.

Now - I don't generally burp at the table after dinner out. But - some say it's a compliment to the chef.

I know a girl who did do it when we went out and she is my age and it cracked me up everytime.

I liked that she wasn't uptight like that.

Yesterday, I stopped in my tracks and couldn't take my eyes off an old lady who was digging for gold in the rear. Nothing was going to stop her - she was in the middle of a busy street and had the look of love in her eye as her fingers probed her buttcrack.

HB looked at me and said..."God Bless her - I know the joy she feels."

Amen brother!