$170 Champagne

$170 champagne taste just as good as the $30 bottle we ended up with.

Just don't tell the French guy that makes the stuff or you might hurt his feelings.

Also - don't say this one has too much carbonation. He will know you are a poser and with horror in his eyes will say...."Carbonation is for soft drinks such as Coca-Cola. We describe it as effervescence (spelling)!"

I heard that word in a Alka Seltzer commercial too - so shall I compare it to drinking that?

G has been dragging me to Wine Tastings week after week at a local wine store that just opened.

She has the hots for the guy behind the bar - so we are there way too much. I go because the booze is FREE! I can't remember one bottle from the other - she sits there and "discusses" the region and the blend. I eat the snacks ( also free) and then try to get another (free) sip from the guy whose pouring.

G is too fancy for me sometimes. In her English accent she will ask what type of cheese I would like to accompany my bottle and I shrug and leave it up to her.

She says things like "This reminds me of when I was in the South of France on the Versailles de blah, blah, blah."

I reply.... "This is better that that Blue Nun crapola or have you ever tried Lancers?"

She giggles and shakes her head. Thinks I am being cute.

I come from a family that drank wine from VERY LARGE bottles of Rhine Wine. So at least it wasn't from the box (although I have purchased those before too).

So no - I'm not being cute. I'm being honest.

So why did I go to wine store where everyone was way too dressed up on a Saturday afternoon?

Because I will never own or buy a bottle of that stuff. I really wanted to see what the big hoopla was over buying the expensive stuff. Oh yeah - did I mention it was free?

I didn't understand why people bought these bottles and then Jean Claude or Francois or Pierre whatever would sign them.

He asked me - "So, would you like for me to sign my lowest priced bottle of swill?"

I looked at him and said "But I am gonna drink it. What do I want with an empty bottle? I recycle."

(Plus I just drank about $30 worth of the $170 bottle fooooorrrr FREE!!!!)

He looks at me like I am totally classless and says something in French to the man standing next to him. But he still is smiling.

Gotta love the French. Calling you a bad name in another language while taking your money.

But seriously - why would you buy it to look at it in your wine cubby? Do you put it on display in your house?

So - for those of you that wonder what your missing. Not much.

It was a blind taste test for the most part. Blind to me meaning... They didn't tell you which bottle was the most expensive one. I tried all 4 and said I enjoyed #2 the best. G (Ms Fancy Pants) agreed. We said we will take a bottle of that to share with the cheese.

At first she was absolutely mortified that we picked the cheapest bottle they had. Then she finally realized - so what - buy what you like.

We drank the whole thing and threw away the (unsigned) bottle in the recycling bin when we were done.