Tulum

I am trying to get to a foreign land - I have applied for a passport and now I wait for my special package delivery.

I am going to a land where you can't drink the water - but I am sure if I order a frozen drink the rum will kill any bacteria that may be in it.

If not- beer. Burp.

I have also been notified that the establishment doesn't have air condition. Supposedly - it is off the ocean and the cool breeze is supposed to keep me cool. We will see.

I have heard that the beach is covered with lizards. Lizards who are not afraid of people since some damn German tourists started a trend in letting the green things eat from their sausage plate. They are likened to pigeons or squirrels. Gross.

I have also been advised to use the mosquito netting provided when I sleep. The bugs it seems - are pretty hungry since they have to compete with the lizards for grub.

I have IBS and a two hour ride down an unpaved road seems like hell.

But - I am going to a foreign land.

I know you want to be me.