Spy

Ok - I just got another call from my Gramma.  Can I say something? (I will anyways because she doesnt own a computer).  You know how the 9/11 report is coming out today?  Well, apparently they think we need another level of intelligence.  Forget the CIA or the FBI or Homeland Security guy.  No -  We need someone else.  We need...spies!!!

Well - I would like to nominate Gramma. 

She knows everything about everyone.  Somehow in her Gramma way she gets everything from you.  Even if she doesnt know you.  If you are in the WinnDixie and you see her coming towards you.  I suggest you run.  She will smell you out, hunt you down and know your whole life story before you even know what hit you.

She won't tempt you with cookies.  Stale bagels and old coffee cake (maybe).  But she has this power to bomb you with question after question.  You don't even think your answering her.  But at the end of the conversation she knows EVERYTHING!

When I have something to hide.  I avoid her. It's best that way.

But she always catches you - she makes friends with your co workers.  They are like "what a sweet old lady"  "Shes so funny".  But what they don't realize is she sucking their brains for info because by the time they pass her to me she knows stuff about them I didnt even know.

I used to think I was tired after talking to her because she talks so much.  I figured it out - Shes not talking - she's sucking my brain for info - I just 'think'  its talking as there seems to be a buzzing in the air.  See that's how she gets you.

She's Americas number one spy.  No man can resist Gramma.  Those terrorist won't even know what hit them.  Forget the language barrier.  She'll just talk louder and s-l-o-w-e-r and soon we will know all thier secrets. 

Believe me - I have seen it in action.  My brother ex in-laws didnt speak a word of English - but she was doing hand gestures,  that mime thing and soon they were all hugging and singing Kumbaya.

With Gramma in power - we will rule the world!!!!