The road less traveled.

After much soul searching and talks of fear of the unknown, HB will be resigning from his current employer today.

I spoke a few posts back that he was interviewing with a competitor and had hopes to attain the position that he left behind many years ago. Well - after a few lunches and meetings with other key employees, HB was offered a fine position. He accepted.

HB has a tough time making decisions of the heart. Work decisions fly from his mouth like a drill sergeant on a mission. But today he fears that the company that employed him many years ago will flounder and die without him. I seriously doubt that will happen as they have been in business for over 25 years, 20 of them without him . He feels a commitment to them. So much so that he accepted the position at the other company two weeks ago but wanted to help his employer finish out their quarter and hit their sales target before his exit.

Generally in our business a two week notice letter is followed by an immediate request to exit the facility. Top secret business stuff, ya know (whatever).

But, he didn't want to leave them high and dry so he has waited until today to break the news.

I guess its good that he overthinks personal matters. He weighs all sides and talks to many, many people. Even when he makes a decision though the fear of the future weighs on him heavily, hoping that he made the right choice, took the right path.

Robert Frost is a favorite poet of mine and I refer to him and one of his poems regulary. So, as I spoke to HB last night, once again about his fears of the unknown I said to him...

"...And I took the road less traveled by and that has made all the difference in the world."

He smiled and knew that use that line when I speak about my personal experiences . Everything has a way of working out, sometimes for the better.

So HB - I wish you luck and congratulations on your new endeavor. I will stand behind you and be your personal cheering squad. I know your starting this company from nothing but I remember a man who left the safety of a huge corporation many years ago with a friend and turned it into a multi-million dollar company that was traded on the NYSE.

Your still the same man. Older and wiser. Better.

Follow the road less traveled.

Let the digging begin!

Phase one of our projects "To Be Done" is underway.

It's funny because the first 'improvement' that I started on has nothing to do with 'house' per se, it of course has everything to do with...Anyone...Anyone?

Yes - Me!

My first purchase was a spa/hottub. Many of you know that I have a rather small yard and my dreams of a pool are just that, dreams only. So I have saved a bit of space for a 'water feature'.

Now many want fountains, or ponds or just a mist of the hose. I want a 450 gallon bucket of water that not only bubbles and warms but - will keep me wet all at the same time! In the summer, I have been told to leave the heat at just below body temp so that it cools me off on a hot summer day.

No more looking over the fence with my big brown eyes hoping the 8 year old next door wants company in the pool with her. Never happens. Probably best - she would probably want me to get my hair wet and play. She wouldn't let me sit on the step and enjoy a frosty, fruity concoction. Plus my cigs would get wet.

This model comes minus little children - though they can get in - because I have the 'Power' - muuuaaaahhhaaaa!

It has cup holders and headrests. It has jets for your neck, back and feet. The jets are adjustable and can be shut off so the mimic of raging waters to smooth stream can occur. Recliners built right in so you aren't just sitting on a bench. Its large enough that others can get in with me (as long as there is not foot fungus among us) and no one will feel creepy about touching knees and the such. It has aromatherapy options...Lavender anyone? And Ozone. Ozone is something that they have created so that you don't have to treat with harsh chemicals - thus and therefore...your plants surrounding your tub will not die because of the bleach and you are able to get out and climb into bed without having chlorine skin and hair. Peeyew!

The digging begins Saturday. With my slave labor wages - I have convinced a senior boy to come over and level my ground. I asked his sister if he had any friends that she would like to see digging a hole sans shirts - she got a magical gleam in her eye and HB flicked me in the head.

Sorry HB - Boys are evil!

Let the digging begin!

Speaking of booze...

Last night at my J's school event - they were talking about upcoming events. Well, they will be having a Octoberfestival on October 31st on the campus which is set on 15 acres.

So as the Pastor goes on to describe each and every activity I am whispering to HB...

"Do you think they will have booze?" I mean, come on you said Octoberfest. Beer - Duh!

HB whispers back "Keep dreaming, its a church function."

So the Pastor (P) says. "We will have games,"

Me. "Booze?"

P: "Rides"

Me: "Booze?"

P: "Food"

Me: "Booze?"

P: " and booths"

I perk up and whisper to HB..."See, they said booze. I am there!"

HB looks at me at shakes his head.

What?!?

Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor DreamCoat

I would like to tell you about the wonderful musical that I saw last night. It was performed by by a bunch of middle school kids. Its was produced by a bunch of middle school kids and they did a great job.

My J was a lamb. She was part of the choir in the back - but every once in awhile the lambs broke free and did a little spin around the stage.

This was a group of talented kids. The only thing that could have been better would have been if they had the sound system in order before it started because we missed some of the vocals.

Being a talented sort myself - I was amazed at the amount of talented kids in one spot for a school so small. The thing that was amazing was the amount of boys they had participating. In my school it was very rare if you had more than 5 on a stage at one time. The only time boys ever wanted perform on stage in my school was when they were dressed as cheerleaders for some pep rally thing.

From the kid that played Joseph, to the Pharaoh, to all the boys who played the brothers - Bravo!

And to those individual girls that belted out the story! Cheers to you!

And to that little lamb who was doing the wave in the back. I don't think that was part of the show.

I saw you - you silly girl!

No more politics- the P word.

Ok - today I am a little better than yesterday. I promise that I will not mention the P word again. This fight is too bloody for me.

I like me. I'm a lover. Not a fighter. I do much better nesting and cuddling. So we will stick with that.

I am even going to tell the Red Sox this morning...Good Job! You blew them outta the water. Didn't think you had it in you. The curse has been broken. This has nothing to with me of course - but I figured I would give them kudos when due. Plus, my Auntie is probably very happy today.

On the Transportation front - Delta has dodged Chapt. 11 this morning by reaching an agreement with the unions. The pilots will be taking a pay cut to keep the airline in the air. I know I am happy as are many of my family members. I love Delta. I am glad they figured something out. Not to mention the tons of skymiles that I would have lost if they would have filed. You see, it's all about me.

On the bad side of Transport. ATA has filed Chapt. 11. If you want to do business with them now is the time. With a Chapt. 11 filing, they are required to pay you for anything they buy from you after today. The folks that they owed money to before this date...too bad, so sad. So sad for many businesses that will take a huge hit. Thankfully - I am not one of them. You see, me again!

So - I am starting my day on a new note...a good note...

No more P!!! Because today is all about me!

CoCo

On a happier note - let's talk about CoCo.

This is a dog that I have put a request into see. I am crossing my fingers that I pass the 10 page application. I really, really want a doggy. I need a little cute ragamuffin that needs me as well.

Let's hope I am good enough!

This is funny....

"Republicans for... He who must not be named"
I thought this was perfect.

Poor Asshole.

Ya see - it's not only me.

LOOK - I found another......

Put another one up!

I don't know if it's happening elsewhere - but there has been a rash of defacing and stealing of property going on recently.

What are they defacing? What are they stealing?

Bush-Cheney signs. Sometimes cars or homes that are stating their political preferences are also feeling the wrath of hatred. Homes are getting egged. Cars are getting keyed.

Many of you know my vote - I will be voting for Bush. I will not get all technical as to my reasons why but this will be my vote come November 2. Not only that - I recently received my ballot and I will be voting Republican across the board. If there is a Democrat running, I don't care if they found they cure for AIDS, I will not vote for them.

Your party has shown their colors and their asses for all to see and it a shame. How dare you! If you are a Democrat and you are saying..."Who me? I didn't hurt you!" Your party did and it is a reflection of your belief system. So you are all for one in my opinion.

I work with Democrats that wear their pins everyday. I live in a neighborhood where Kerry signs are stuck in virtually every yard. I never say a word, I never get into a political discussion with them. They are my neighbors, my coworkers, the guy sitting next to me at a Morrissey concert. Sometimes - I try to strike up a conversation with them, not telling them my views or feelings. I just ask why. The main reason they will be voting for Kerry, is because of their immense hatred for Bush. They cannot give me a specific reason as to why they really think Kerry would be better, they just hate Bush. The word hate pours from their lips like they just sucked the venom from the leg of a wounded man.

Their hate then flows into their everyday lives. If you have a Bush/ Cheney sticker on your car - prepare for it to either be covered or drawn on. If you wear a button - prepare for a speech and word for word quotes from Farencrap 911. If you have a sign in your yard - prepare for it to be stolen, torn or even worse your home or your car vandalized.

There is a war at home folks. I have a sign that I am frightened to put up in front of my home.

My home... how dare you!

Voting is my right that Susan B. Anthony fought to achieve for me and my daughter and all the women in our family. I have a voice just like you. My opinions and views do not give you the right to try to scare me, bully me and ruin my things. I have looked at your Kerry signs and pins for months. I have seen the homemade signs on your cars. I may not agree with what they say - but I can tell you this I would never, ever rip them from your car or person. We have the right of free speech.

To try to silence me thru TERROR - yes I said it. Your no better than the terrorist who tried to silence us on 9/11.

So - my friends and family and people that I don't even know that have come across this behavior - I ask that you fight against them and take a stand. Continue to live your lives like the human beings and lovers of this country that you are and wear your pin proudly.

And to my friends J and A - whose yard was torn up from the pickup truck that decided to run over your signs ....

Put another one up!

Its because I am a girl, isn't it?

I have worked at a company coming on six years. Big title. Nice salary. The company isn't much to look at - it's only made up of a few folks, but after the recent exit of an employee I have been assigned to some of the mundane tasks once assigned to her.

We have a relatively new employee that the boss hired. He met the kid at a gym. Felt he had potential and offered him a sales position.

In my world - the new guy gets the crap. Earn your keep.

But - I have recently been assigned to filing and placing mailing labels on envelopes and making copies - putting shipping labels on outgoing parcels. These jobs take me away from the thing that I do. Sell.

When doing these tasks, I am away from my desk. Away from a phone.

Because we are also commissioned some of the calls may be a potential sale. Rule is, if it is not a specific customer and they don't ask for you, it's fair game. So - it's the luck of the draw sometimes. There may be a valuable "freebie" calling in. I have already lost a majority of sales as I have to compete with answering the phone. Let's see who can answer it first kinda thing.

Not once has the man that I have worked for since the inception of the company asked "The New Guy" to do any of the above mentioned tasks. I have also been tasked with double checking his paperwork because he tends to make errors.

Boss Man likens him to a child. Says he needs to be tended to.

I say - this is a job. I have a kid and I am not raising one at work. He's a man - apparently capable of earning his pilot license - but he can't do filing?!?

Is it because I am a girl? Is it because the tasks I speak of are considered "secretarial"?

I will say this. The more I am as asked to do the 'secretarial' things - the more I seethe.

Would it be proper to say something? Or is this whining?

Hell, Boss Man takes out the trash to the dumpster (something I think New Guy should do).-

Maybe I am overreacting?

Its because I am a girl, isn't it?

You don't remember me?

It's a sad day when the person that you spend all your time with day in and day out confesses that they don't remember you during their youth.

"You weren't there. I only remember so and so."

Where is Doctor Phil when you need him?

The person I am referring to is J. Last night she was preparing dinner for us and I was sitting at the bar and we were chatting about her weekend with her Auntie. She doesn't see her Auntie very much and this past weekend they spent three days together. During this time - J is told a majority of things about our past life. Good and bad. So she questions me....

Why did you and Dad get divorced? Was it because of so and so? Do you know what I heard....???

So on and so forth. As I wade thru this information and try to clarify situations that occurred without placing total blame on one individual I hear...."I don't remember you being around much." She then goes on to talk about very rare occasions when a specific person did great things with her. But other that that - she cannot remember the day to day activities.

"Don't you remember this?"

"Nope"

"Don't you remember that?"

"Nope"

I am guessing that because the activities that she does remember were so rare that they were special. So special that they have burned themselves into her memory leaving little room for anything else that occurred.

My life with J included the mundane - I guess. Even though I remember certain things and occasions like they just happened last nite. When I speak of these things from time to time, we laugh and chuckle at the silliness of it all. But - when you ask her, she doesn't remember that it happened at all.

Could it be that her childhood was so wreaked by adult situations that she has blocked a majority of it out? That somewhere in her mind, lying right beneath the surface is a childhood that she has packed away never to bring out again? Maybe one day she will land in therapy and the Dr. will tell her that she has underlying issues that they need to extract and then and only then under hypnosis she will relive her childhood? Maybe the fun things that we used to do will then emerge?

Maybe I am just overthinking?

It just floors me as I can remember my childhood. Not exact. But I can remember quite a bit. I too have blocked somethings out. But - sometimes they can be jiggled free when someone mentions it.

I also feel a little hurt. Because I know I have a moment when I was young that I remember with my Mom. I believe that there used to be a cartoon called "Jabberjaw". It was a blue shark. I remember laying on the couch in the living room (before we had a Florida room added) and we had a floor console TV. We watched the cartoon and apparently I gave running commentary (possibly mentioning stuff - LOL) during the show and during the commercial my Mom proceeded to tickle me and sang the song to me..."Jabbaa Jabba Jabba Jaaba Jaaw - your a Jabberjaw!"

I remember that among other things - but that I specifically remember - because it was a special time between my Mother and I.

And J - She couldn't give me anything.

That is just sad.

Chronic?

I was called a Chronic Complainer last night.

Funny thing is I don't think of myself as a complainer. I just state the obvious.

I see something and mention it. I am not complaining - I am just sayin'.

For example...went to a Morrissey concert last night. A gift for HB for his BDay.

The opening act comes on. Nice enough Irish singer. He played a pretty guitar and had a nice voice. The audience around me continued to chatter. Talk, talk, talk. So as I was trying to really concentrate on this guy - the background chatter was killing the mood. He was done within a half an hour. He leaves the stage to polite applause. I mention how I wish the audience didnt talk so much. I found it to be rude. He wasn't that bad. Granted - he wasnt Morrissey - but I think it shows a huge lack of respect.

Then we wait another half hour until Morrissey comes on stage. The lights dim...They bring up the curtain. People are standing - cheering from their seats. We listened to two taped recorded songs of his and stared at a dark stage. I mentioned that I hope that that I didn't pay $60 per ticket to listen to a tape. The man next to me agrees.

Then - finally the concert starts. Good rock show. The two gents in front of us were truly excited as their asses never hit the seat once the show started. Granted, they two also spent $60 a ticket and they had every right to stand (I guess). But - Morrissey is a bit of a crooner and has some songs that you can actually sit too. No dancing required. So tired from standing I mention (not to them of course) that I wish they would sit down - so that I could. Not to mention the people behind us.

An hour and a half is a long time to stand in heels not to mention dodging the flinging arms of one said neighbor.

See no complaining, just mentioning.

Just like now - I am not complaining that someone called me a complainer.

I am just mentioning.

Geez!

The sky is falling...

The sky was dark. The clouds rumbled. The lighting came fast and furious. Followed by clapping thunder. The rain fell hard and stung your face as you walked to the car.

Finally reaching safety....Huge gigantic hail starts pounding your car - like baseballs dropping from the sky.

True story!!!

It happened yesterday night on the way home.

I was skeered!

Heellooo..Its been done already.

Last night was the premiere of Wife Swap. Its the same as Trading Spouses but on a different network. It took me about 10 minutes and in boredom the channel was changed. I don't know if its the fact that I have already admitted to being a fan of Trading Spouses. But, the one-ups manship of Wife Swap really turned me off.

Same premise. Rich, do nothing lady. Poor, hard working lady. I would like to see a rich hard working lady and a poor do nothing lady.

If I was into political agendas - I would think that this was a show that was directed by Democrats. I bet it was produced by Kerry....yeah, that's the ticket.

So - I wouldn't recommend it.

Then - I watched The Batchlor. I am a few weeks late on the episode apparently and boy oh boy , what a mess. It's a nitetime soap opera folks. I usually don't watch this show. Its usually one man - getting gobs of attention from beautiful girls with serious self esteem issues. They fall in love. They fight. They cry. All the while, the man is shown with a halo of light around him. He gets to make out with all the girls and then cast them aside with the offer of a rose.

Some of these women have serious self esteem issues. And I don't care if you say "Its only editing" they use what you give them.

There was only one show that actually ended in a marriage of the actual participants. That was "The Batchlorette" and Krista Ryan. The rest may date for a while. But then, they hit the tabloids and tell the world about each others shortcomings.

If you want to see a bitchfest. Catfight. Drama. Tune in.

Its worth the price of admission - FREE!

Poor Yankees

They lost last night to Boston. At home. In front of the whole world. Boston celebrated their win in NYC on a NYC field.

Boston now moves to the World Series. Their competition (the Cardinals or the Astros) will be unveiled tonight at the winner of tonight's game.

Boston hasn't won a world series since 1918.

Rumor has it that the curse will stop them. They choke at every turn.

I do have to say they played a much better game than the Yanks and deserved their win.

Life at Casa del Jacquimarie is a bit sullen. HB has two teams that he adores. Or shall I say, is obsessed with. The Yankees and the Gators. They fill his sports world. He belongs to websites, he writes letters to sports editors.

Both are miserable. But HB has hope. Hope that next year will be different. That the Gators will get the coach back that they so need. The Yanks will get their pitchers in order after losing Clemens and others to the Astros (he's pitching tonight) last year.

I guess all we have is hope.

As Jesse Jackson would say...

"Keep hope alive!"

Burns, scrapes and bruises and gray

There are some days - I never look at myself. I mean really look at myself.

I get up, stagger to the bathroom. Take a shower. Get out, dry off. Throw some clothes on (not hard because we are known for our 'Bohemian' choice of dress here. Flip flops are the norm). I then brush the teeth, brush the tangles from the hair and head for the front door to meet my grunting J for the daily drive to school.

So, today it's rather slow and I am just looking at my hands. Mainly because I am doing web surfing and I have to look at them to type. I have three small burns on the back of my right hand and a nice blister forming on my left thumb. Where did they come from?

I noticed earlier a huge scrape on my shoulder when I went to scratch myself. Ow! What's that? Where did that come from?

Not to mention the bruise on my right thigh that has now changed a lovely shade of yellow. Noticed that while I was in the can...um...ladies room (I will spare you the gory details). Yellow means it's been there a while. Couldn't tell ya for the life of me when it happened.

So now I am examining my feet. In need of a pedicure. Why? I have that lovely cracking on the heels that you only see with old age (yep, that's me, old). It must of just happened today - it wasn't there when I looked yester...I mean...Monday..um...whenever the last time was.

I also noticed today when I was in my sporty car -with the top down a HUGE one inch growth of gray. Think I need a dye job? BADLY!

Yeah - I am sexy. Not!!!

So - I have come to the realization that this is the reason we become "Soccer Moms". We get wrapped up. Life is busy. We sleep, work, sleep, work. So we become easy.

It's much easier to pull on the comfy pants and big sweatshirt. Its easier to wear flip flops instead of heels. Its easier to let your hair 'air dry' than do it up. Makeup? For who?
If you don't look at yourself - I mean really, really look at yourself - things can get really out of control.

So - I am leaving in 20 minutes. HB isn't going to be home tonight because I have asked to to watch the Yankee game elsewhere (he's looney during games). I am gonna dye my hair. Change my toenail polish and try to nourish my feet (poor things). The burns and bruises will go away but I promise to really look at myself tomorrow when I get up.

At least to make sure I don't have a booger.

Big Loser

Well - I FINALLY got to see some reality TV last night. The Yankee game is on a channel that has all my shows - but last night I was able to see Losers in action.

Big Loser is about 12 folks. All overweight. They are competing for $250k and the title of biggest loser. They are split into groups of 6 and they compete with the help of trainers and diets to see which team will lose the most weight at the end of the week. The team that loses the most weight as a whole wins. The team that falls short needs to vote off a team member.

There is a competition during the show that awards the team that wins a 5 lb bag of lard. This bag of lard is then added to the other teams weight loss.

I liked the show. Its got that motivational feeling.

It actually made me feel a little motivated to get back into a healthy eating plan as I have elected to go off the Atkins / dieting as a whole for a while. Then my Mom sent me a picture from her visit a few months ago. Can you say double chin!

I hope that once the show is over that they will follow the progress of the winner. I know last night the first girl that was voted off (because she didn't have too much weight to lose) had continued what she had learned and taken off an additional 15lbs since she had exited the show.

I think that its got a good premise - I am sure there will be things in the upcoming weeks that border on mean and I will have to comment.

But all in all....its worth a peek.

Secondly - Please cross your fingers for the Yankees to win tonight against Boston. As many of you know HB is a huge Yankees fan. Life around the Casa De Jacquimarie is a little tense due to the recent loss of games to Boston.

Speaking of Penis

I want a male dog.

I love male dogs. They have all the characteristics of a true human male.

They want to be hugged so they can snuggle in your bosom. They like to mark their territory by stinking up stuff and like a true boyfriend will bark when a stranger comes near you. They want to be fed well and they like their bellys rubbed. They also love baby talk (but don't tell the other dogs, they will only make fun).

So - I mention this to a man who has a male dog (as I was rubbing his male dogs belly). He said he feels gay rubbing a male dogs stomach because he said everything is too close it seems perverted. He will rub a female dogs tummy though.

Does it make you gay? Is it perverted? To hear him tell it - I am bordering on beastality.

Animals love to be loved. Walking thru the pound the other day - if you had two dogs laying in one stall - they were together. They craved to be touched as they stood up on the fence to say hello to me as I walked by.

The thing I found to be wonderful at the pound was a woman who went stall to stall and gave the dogs 'therapy' (there was a sign telling you so). Basically, she was giving them a good rubdown, belly and all. They were in heaven.

So - I ask you all to touch a dog today - rub its belly and talk baby talk to it .

(But not too loud - remember - the other dogs might make fun)

Music and Me.

Today on the way into work the news radio station I listen to mentioned that the lead singer of Soft Cell had been in a motorcycle accident and was in critical condition. Now many are probably wondering who Soft Cell is.

They had a smash hit called 'Tainted Love'. I think it was originally written in the sixties and sung by a woman named Gloria Jones. It was so popular that Marilyn Manson did a cover of it. Whenever it comes on the radio you turn it up and sing along.

Like some of us, it never seems to get old. Even J knows all the words to it and she recently downloaded it on her iPod so she could enjoy it too.

There are songs that come on the radio that bring you back. Way back. These songs are burned in your memorybanks because you were having fun with friends, having your first kiss, first dance, breaking up with a loved one.

These songs remind you of when you circled the block with your Dad or were bobbing your head (a la Queen) in the backseat of a packed car on the way to the beach. Some songs are great reflections of just hanging out on a Saturday in your room - listening to the music coming from your transistor and 'My Sharona' up as loud as you can get it without getting in trouble. Some music is borrowed from family and played on the record player over and over till even you don't want to hear 'Bridge over Troubled Water' anymore. I remember singing 'You Light Up My Life' over and over til my Dad said he was going to end my life if I didn't shutup!

It's burned in there and when many years later you hear it on the radio you hope it doesn't end.

Like 'Tainted Love' for me - music reminds you of your youth.

A time not so long ago - but that seems so far away.

Monday, Monday

Can't trust that day.

I took Friday off and had a reasonable weekend. But Monday just turns everything into poop!

We always have Sunday dinner at the house. Its usually just us three. We don't throw a party. But its the one day that I can try out a new recipe and make everyone sit down and enjoy the last night of the weekend. It usually goes well as I have finished a bottle of wine by the end of the night and had a good meal. Or so I thought - maybe it was a wine induced haze.

Come Monday morning - everyone is a crank. All the funny jokes all the hugs and thanks for the weekend turn into a screamfest. A cryfest or a moodfest.

Mondays are tricky like that.

I had a decent weekend - looked at spas for the yard since I don't have room for a pool and spent my Sunday doing the usual 'Mother and Daughter' outing.

I do have a amazing story for you about dogs though.

Friday afternoon J and I went on the search for a doggy. After having a lovely visitor a few weeks ago - I decided I am ready to look into a new family member for the home. I didn't want to go to a "Pet Store" so I went to a "Boutique". The owner was dressed in an evening gown. That set bells off immediately. Discussed the different breeds that she had available as she only deals with Tea Cups and then the price....$1200! I sat there like a professional - didn't blink an eye.

"Twelve hundred dollars - Ha! Sure, let me bend over and get that for you. Would you prefer small or large bills?"

I then made J give the dog back and said we needed to do more research on the breed and scooted my broke ass out of there. Then I went to the pound. I would prefer not to get a pound dog for the mere fact that many of them are crazed because of the families that they came from previously. I really don't have the patience to deal with a dog that has issues. If you poop because your a puppy - that's one thing. But a grown dog that poops on my floor...we have a problem. The Humane Society had nothing under 100 lbs so we left. J was brokenhearted and I was glad I escaped with the remains left in my paltry bank account.

So back to the story...why would anyone buy a dog for that amount of money? If they are show dogs - that wasn't one of the selling points. No mention of the fact that I could possibly win the Eukanaba Dog challenge for toy breeds and win a lifetime supply of dog food.

Nada, zilch, zip!

Some talk about them being hypoglycemic. Not leaving them alone for more than 2 hours at a time.

I want a dog - but maybe teacups aren't for me - don't want a dog in a coma when I return after a 4 hour excursion.

I would like a dog - no more than 10 lbs. Lap-capable and cute as a button. J would prefer white - but me...I just want cute and potty trainable.

Oh and less than my mortgage payment.

Mexican anyone?

Hola!

After a day of signing my life away to banks I am ready for a cocktail!

So if you want to join me for some Mexican food - and a margarita at the locale cantina....I'm buying!

Adios'

Defensive Driving

Anyone who has every driven in Miami knows that you need to watch the road and everyone else on the road.

A drive to work in the morning is a mixture of skill, patience and humor.

If you let it get to you - road rage sets in. I have made a list of suggestions so that it might make your trip a little easier.

The following people are on the road all the time. Sometimes you can call who is driving before you even pass them.

The small Honda that in the left (fast) lane on the highway. Usually a woman - I will call her "Aint Got No Job". She knows your there - but she doesn't care. Why should she rush? She's got no where to go. Go around - sitting on her tail will do nothing but aggravate you.

The big Caddy or Lincoln. They are usually located on a three lane road - never the highway. This car is usually loaded with "Old People" and they can't remember which side of the road the restaurant is on, so watch the drift. Is a slow drift because they are only going 10 mph but be aware, if you honk, they freak and slam on the brakes. Just let them pass - don't yell - they are someone's Grandparent.

The really nice car with tinted windows. These are found in two spots.

The first one is in the left hand turn lane. This is the lane you must wait the longest at so most females take this opportunity to do their makeup. While "Makeup Lady" doing her makeup she doesn't notice the light change. So if you have the opportunity to ride her tail thru the yellow, I would recommend it. If not, you eventually end up waiting thru the next light.

The other driver of the nice car is usually male. He can be found on the right hand side of the road going slow. He's "Phone Guy" . Not really paying attention to his speed. Having a nice chat.

If you can avoid the "Old People" in the middle lane - go around this guy. You will get no where fast.

Then you have the "Angry Guy". He's usually in a POS. He is angry that he's driving a, non- airconditioned, foul smelling, wreck of a car and he wants to get even. He's the guy who is ahead of you on the highway but not going fast enough for you. So, you put on your turn signal to go around him. He doesn't want anyone to pass him. So he takes it as a challenge of his manhood and pulls over to the next lane in front of you. He of course doesn't let you know by turning on his signal. He is also one of those "Angry Guys" that hit his breaks if he thinks your too close. This man is an accident waiting to happen. So slowly back off and then gun it in your V6 to get around him. His car cant keep up, its a POS remember!?!

Be warned, the only time this maneuver works is when you dont have to worry about "Aint Got No Job" and "Phone Guy". Because if "Angry Guy" catches up with you. The humor of making him eat your dust quickly turns into fear.

The last type of driver is not only dangerous but funny at the sametime. "The Poker". This is usually a middle aged man or woman. Regular car. These are the types that want to make a turn onto the busy road. "Pokers" will either stick their nose way into the lane your in hoping you will stop. Or, they pull out very slowly and cause you to slam your brakes. These "Pokers" also are the ones that want to be in your lane but they are over a lane or two. So they make their own imaginary lane that actually crosses two lanes of traffic.

When "Pokers" emerge from their homes they bring out "The Honkers", "The Screamers", "The Head Shakers" and the "It's Not Me, It's Them" and the "The Finger Flickers".

With this knowledge you will know what to look for on the streets of Miami and hopefully it will help you during your ride to work.

Good Luck and soon you will be a "Good Driver".

Like Myself.

Saint Me.

You see its all about Me.

I am a very selfish creature. Though I would never say it outloud to the person that I want to do the things I want. Deep down inside I am screaming..."But what about ME!"

So, I sit and stew and whine a bit if I can get away with it. But - the Me in Me is not happy at all.

I have many instances in my life that are really not up to my standards. Things that I have little control over and even if I complained - I doubt anything would be done and my pleas would fall upon deaf ears.

So I am nominating myself for Sainthood.

The Sainthood for the Mothers that have pain in the a** kids.

The Sainthood for Girlfriends, that have to deal with the likes of forgetful boyfriends.

The Sainthood for Employees that deal daily with "The Man".

The Sainthood for General Life for just having to deal with people on an everyday basis.

I am sure Mother Teresa would understand.

Rain, rain, go away...

After a lovely evening of Indian food and chocolate cake - I awake to rain. Ms. J's birthday went well and she was truly happy with all of her gifts. Now - if we can only get them to work...

I don't like rainy days. They make me feel blue. I start to question the world and wonder why anything and everything exists. My answers usually arent good enough so then I move to grumpy.

Mix in a tear or two and it makes for a terrible day.

I wouldn't do well in say....Seattle or England.

I gain strength from the sun. Even if its just for a moment. At my building at work, there are no windows. We work in a bunker and I had the walls painted bright yellow just so that I could pretend there was sun. My boss (ciggie commie) sometimes questions the amount of times that I head towards the door. But - one thing I will fight him on is my qwest for sunshine. If even for a minute.

The warm feeling that hits you as you emerge from the air conditioned office. It's never unpleasant. The rays create an energy against your skin and you are ready to head back in for another hour of work.

Though my favorite color is red - the best color in the world is when the sun is starting to set. The orange, reds and yellows and smoky blues are a feast for the eyes. I envy my parents view everynite from their porch as they are able to see the sky in all it's glory.

I know that I enjoy that time in my back garden. As soon as I come home from work - I pour a glass of beverage, grab my smokes and take a seat. Though I cannot see the entire sunset - the colors of the setting sun reflect of the colors of the plants in the ground. It's a work of art. Pretty as a picture.

I don't mind nighttime as I know the sun will be back out again in the morning. Sunrise is just around the corner.

Rain, rain go away - come again another day.....

Thursdays child

You know the poem?

Mondays child is fair of face
Tuesdays child is full of grace
Wednesdays child is full of woe
Thursdays child has far to go....

Fourteen years ago at 5:45 pm Ms. J made her first appearance into the world.

It was a Thursday. She changed my life forever.

Today is a mixture of happiness for her and sadness for me. Today is a day closer to her getting one year older and one year closer to leaving me for adulthood.

I always have J. I know she is always nearby. I know that she is always within reaching distance of a good pinch to the tush. We cry together. We laugh together. I want to hear about her day. I want to get up and say good-morning. She is my favorite person. I know that she was a gift from God and she has given me a purpose in my life. She helps me realize what's important. She is my conscience. There is a stinging truth to her words sometimes. She always calls a spade a spade.

I will never have anymore children. This is a choice I made a long time ago.

Her perfection in my eyes can never be duplicated.

She entered the world with a roar
the small child with wonderment in her eyes.
The old lady's soul and young persons smile.

Happy Birthday J!

You have brought me so much joy. I look at you and see such a beautiful and brilliant girl. You have made me proud to be your Mother.

I love you!

Well, I always have the weekend...

Bleech - ok I am now on day 5 of my cold, 2 more to go.

My dining experiences are a failure. I crave certain things but can only stomach soup for now.

But I have the weekend.

TV night doesnt even have the same appeal to me when I am sick. I watched "The Apprentice" and "Survivor" and either they were just slow shows this week or since I am sick I WANT to be entertained. Neither did.

Trumps show was again a terrible reflection on women in power. I sat there with HB and he even said that he doesn't think that one of them have what it takes. The men on the other hand are always entertaining.

Survivor actually had a positive woman experience. They received a reward of having a native tribesman come to their island and show them what was food and how to better their shelter. He left these white women on the beach - waving and crying to him singing Kumbaya, holding hands. One woman had a small tear drop from her eye as she was waving farewell to her 'Mandingo'.

Ok - I am giggling to myself as I type this - because that scene was quite amusing. I must be feeling better.

The debate is on tonight and I doubt I will be able avoid it, hopefully there will be something wonderful on HBO.

To have something entertaining to watch...oh what I would do...

On the other hand - I did go to the movies last week and saw "A Sharks Tale".

Before I give you my review (which is short) - I will tell you what a co-worker said after she saw it (and before she knew that I saw it). She said that " is was too adult for children and they find little humor in it and that it was too stupid for adults to enjoy."

I (the adult) on the other hand - LOOOVVEEEDD IT!

See - I am laughing again. Must be feeling better.

But - I always have the weekend.

L

My friend L. She is a woman that has created a internet company from nothing - sold it and made a nice penny. She reopened something of the same type and still makes a nice living. She has the American Dream life. The great house filled with lovely art. The good son in prep school. The doting husband and the big boat and expensive cars. Life always seemed good for L. The little green monster would arise occasionally after we would see them because she seemed to attain something I always wanted.

Well L called me last night. L's mom had passed away last weekend after a long battle with cancer. L was very close to her Mom and her parents were married for 51 years and together for 55. She told me the story of how hundreds of people attended her service and though L was mourning for her Mom she was able to take some of these stories that she had never heard before and walk away with a smile. She found out things she never knew about her Mom. She found out that her Mother touched many people thruout her life in many ways.

L is Jewish and she was headed to Temple because they mourn for a week after burial - she found some humor in her quest to find a Temple that was open everyday and she had located an Orthodox Temple. She said it was like stepping back many, many years ago and her with her heels and diamonds she felt a little out of place - but it made her feel better to go.

The thing that hit me last night as I spoke to her is that for all the envy I have at times with her - last night was not one of them. I cried as I spoke to her and told her that I could not even imagine losing a parent.

I just cried not only for her but at the thought of losing what I hold very dear.

Sometimes you take that small moment not to only look in from the outside, but you take a moment to step into their shoes and take it all in. Sometimes their shoes aren't very comfortable at all.

To my family that is so far away...I love you.

Just to be a smartass

There is a definite link to children's health when the birth mother has breastfed them.

Children gain their mothers immunity towards colds early on and tend not to catch as many bugs as a child who was raised on cows milk.

They also tend not to be as forgetful and never a smartass.

So - if you have a child that has a cold, is forgetful and a smartass.

Its probably your fault.

Im just saying'. (hee,hee,hee)

aaaaaaa-choooo

Didn't mean to sneeze on you. Sorry. Let me wipe that up for you. Eeeww. Uuuuh, you get it.

Yep - still sick,sick,sick!!! Hating life.

Slept on the couch last night. For some reason I slept well and my nose was clear enough to breathe. Stood up and it all started all over again.

Funny thing though - J was pounding on my door this morning not knowing I was in the livingroom and I am standing behind her saying 'Come In'. Freaked her out properly. That's what she gets for pounding on the door.

I love it when she decides to be a sneeky sneek. I catch her with her hand in the cookie jar - everytime.

Hee Hee Hee.

So her birthday is coming up. She will be 14. We don't have any big plans. She hates to plan things and then gets upset when things dont happen. I have made offers, believe me. But she has turned everything down. So - if you hear that she's sad that no one made a big deal about her day....it's her fault.

Her wish list is extravagent - not long mind you. Just pricey. Very pricey. My Mom used to call it champagne taste. I don't know if it applies to this list or the thing she wants are just expensive. But - this list puts the ching - in cha-ching.

So mark your calenders for the 11th.

Snotty

I am now perfectly snotty. My cold has developed into full rage and I am in constant need of a tissue. It's lovely I tell you. Each sneeze a work of art! I could sell it on e-bay if I were a celebrity. People would pay millions for my snot-rags!!!! Muuuaahhaahhaaa.

Ok - so along with my cold I am a little delirious.

But - I heard once a child star named Corey Haim. Not only put up locks of his hair for sale but also his wisdom teeth and he made a pretty penny. He's no one now - but someone loves the weird.

Speaking of weird. I live in a town that has some pretty weird folks in it. There is a Greyhound bus station down the street and the people that decide to get off at the Hollywood station are eccentric (ok, they are drunks) and a little scary.

So this morning I stop by the local Habib store to grab a pack of smokes. There is also a man that is digging in the $1 beer barrel in the front of the store. He wants to get the very cold one at the bottom apparently because he is digging like a dog looking for a bone. Ice crashing to the floor - and Habib is not very happy.

Habib yells at him and the drunk cowers and apologizes. Then, he tries to pick up the ice that has fallen on the floor and put it back in the bin. Yuck! Remind me to never buy a single beer from the bucket at Habib's. So then Habib turns to me and I tell him what I would like and then here comes the drunk guy. He stands inches from me. I have a barrier of at least an arms length that I feel comfy with and this man is invading my space. So - I take one step over to my right to make my space. He notices and once again becomes apologetic, but doesn't move. So I am trying to reach over Habibs wares to try and pay him. Habib starts yelling at the drunk - why are you scaring my customers?

My mind is screaming... Habib....give me my smokes and let me go. Don't defend me, don't make the drunk mad. Your on the other side of the counter all safe. I am merely inches from whatever weapon he may have! What are you crazy???

The drunk starts to cry. I didn't mean to scare you. I am sorry.

My heart is pounding and I am tightlipped and I grab my stuff and go. What in the hell was that all about?

Life in Hollyweird.

No cake? What...

So HB, today of all days has been to the Dr's.

"Well, Mr. HB you have a strong heart and lungs. Regretfully, your glucose is too high and we need you to follow this strict no sugar regimen for the next three months and we will tell you then if you have diabetes. " Says the doc.

But its your birthday!!!! - I wail.

What about cake!?! - I cry.

You had ice cream yesterday. Pasta last night. Whaddya mean you can't have cake!?! - I beg.

Then the dreaded A word emerged from HB's lips . Atkins.

You mean my little vacation of girlie drinks and black beans and rice is....Sniff..OVER?!? - I whimper.

I know he's concerned about his health. I as a doting GF will do what I have to, because it is right.

But - I think you should be able to have cake on your birthday - without the thoughts of a diabetic coma hovering over you!!!

Stupid Doctor!

It has begun...

October is the month that the blitz of birthdays/ holidays/ and parties start.

I am very, very,very bad about remembering birthdays. I know mine and I know J's. I know HB and I know The AH's. My parents fall in November approx two weeks from each other - I think my Mom was born on a leap year so she only celebrates it every seven years. That or it falls on Thanksgiving. Brothermans is in Jan and I think Auntie C is the same as my Mom's give or take a leap year or two. There is an anniversary between two birthdays in October - once again...the parents. Ask me the day exactly - I will be guessing - I think its the 9th. Grammas already passed, its in August and Brians is around Easter. The day you ask...your gonna have to kill me. I dunno.

I think that thats why they have cards for bozo's like me. The 'sorry I am late, but forgive me I am cute!'

So - I rely on Mom to remind me. When she doesnt, I get angry. I know I am old enough to remember but...come on...you didn't breastfeed me and now I need you to make it up to me!

(I love guilt - do you think it worked?)

So in between those things - you have the holidays. We have Columbus Day - Halloween - Thanksgiving and Christmas. New Years Eve and New Years Day. You have to have a party. You have to go to a party.

In between this you need to buy presents and outfits and wrap presents and dress yourself.

I am tired just thinking about it and we are only into day 4 of the month.

Well - its HB's birthday today even though he doesnt read this blog - I will wish him a great day!

I guess that all the work we will put into the next few months will create good memories for everyone. So it should be worth it.

But - I do want to remind everyone that mine is in February......

Sniffling thru it and Im ok!

Funny how I call an employee out the other day for calling in sick and today I am sitting here with a cold.

It serves me right. But to reply to my Moms blog about the evildoers spreading germs...I came by it honestly. My father did it and I don't remember anybody coddling me when I said I was sick in the morning.

I will refer to the odd shaped head guy to back me up on this one. Brotherman? You got my back?

So we will blame my parents for my issue! Whew - I got that guilt off my chest....just place the blame on others. : )

J did that to me this morning as I was shuffling around in my cold soaked daze. She was running late - and she write up a note that 'I' had to go to the doctors this morning for an appt. Please sign here in the appropriate spot. Thanks Mom!

Whatever makes you feel better.

Crossing fingers and toes...

Today is a big day for HB...he is now (at this very moment) interviewing. I hope, hope, hope it's everything he wants and more.

HB used to be a high faluting mucky-muck at a corporation that was traded on the NYSE but like many of those companies that were worth much more on paper than they were, eventually closed it's doors.

So - he found good honest work but it's not what he loves. HB runs companies. He can build it and run it for you. He's great at it and he knows it.

So today may be that opportunity that he has been waiting patiently for.

I am asking you all to send your positive energy to him and hope that the owner came with a contract in hand.

Om - pa - loom -pa - Part Two

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